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  Praise for Give and Take

  Amazon’s Best Books of 2013 • Oprah’s Riveting Reads • Fortune’s 5 Must-Read Business Books • Inc.’s Best Books of 2013 for Entrepreneurs • Forbes’s Most Dynamic Social Innovation Initiatives of 2013 • New York Times Magazine cover story: “Is Giving the Secret to Getting Ahead?” • Bestseller lists: New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, USA Today, Publisher’s Weekly, and more • Translated into two dozen languages

  “Give and Take just might be the most important book of this young century. As insightful and entertaining as Malcolm Gladwell at his best, this book has profound implications for how we manage our careers, deal with our friends and relatives, raise our children, and design our institutions. This gem is a joy to read, and it shatters the myth that greed is the path to success.”

  —Robert Sutton, author of The No *sshole Rule and Good Boss, Bad Boss

  “Give and Take is a very interesting book. . . . I can’t put it down.”

  —Ryan Seacrest, host of American Idol, radio personality, and producer

  “In this riveting and sparkling book, Adam Grant turns the conventional wisdom upside-down about what it takes to win and get ahead. With page-turning stories and compelling studies, Give and Take reveals the surprising forces behind success, and the steps we can take to enhance our own.”

  —Laszlo Bock, senior vice president of people operations, Google

  “Give and Take is a pleasure to read, extraordinarily informative, and will likely become one of the classic books on workplace leadership and management. It has changed the way I see my personal and professional relationships.”

  —Jeff Ashby, NASA space shuttle commander

  “Packed with cutting-edge research, concrete examples, and deep insight, Give and Take offers extraordinarily thought-provoking—and often surprising—conclusions about how our interactions with others drive our success and happiness. This important and compulsively readable book deserves to be a huge success.”

  —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and Happier at Home

  “Give and Take is an enlightening read for leaders who aspire to create meaningful and sustainable changes to their environments. Grant demonstrates how a generous orientation toward others can serve as a formula for producing successful leaders and organizational performance. His writing is as engaging and enjoyable as his style in the classroom.”—Kenneth Frazier, chairman, president, and CEO, Merck & Co.

  “With Give and Take, Adam Grant has marshaled compelling evidence for a revolutionary way of thinking about personal success in business and in life. Besides the fundamentally uplifting character of the case he makes, readers will be delighted by the truly engaging way he makes it. This is a must-read.”

  —Robert Cialdini, author of Influence

  “Give and Take cuts through the clutter of clichés in the marketplace and provides a refreshing new perspective on the art and science of success. Adam Grant has crafted a unique, ‘must have’ toolkit for accomplishing goals through collaboration and reciprocity.”

  —William P. Lauder, executive chairman, The Estée Lauder Companies Inc.

  “Good guys finish first—and Adam Grant knows why. Give and Take is the smart surprise you can’t afford to miss.”

  —Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness

  “One of my favorite new business discoveries of 2013.”

  —Claire Diaz-Ortiz, manager of social innovation, Twitter, and author of Twitter for Good

  “Give and Take is a brilliant, well-documented, and motivating debunking of ‘good guys finish last’! With fascinating research, engaging style, and practical wisdom, this is a super manifesto for getting meaningful things done, sustainably.”

  —David Allen, author of Getting Things Done

  “An important book, destined to be a classic.”

  —Stephen Roulac, New York Journal of Books

  “Give and Take is . . . garnering plaudits for the rigor of its science, the freshness of its arguments, and the pleasure of its prose.”

  —Leigh Buchanan, Inc.

  “Give and Take is just brimming with studies. . . . They amaze and instruct. . . . Thoughtful and well-researched . . . a book that means something.”

  —Bryant Urstadt, Bloomberg BusinessWeek

  “Grant’s extraordinary book [is] my favorite on behavior since Quiet.”

  —Kare Anderson, Forbes

  “I was so enticed by Grant’s research that I decided to enlist him to help me increase my giving.”

  —Joel Stein, Time

  “Because I was reading Adam Grant’s book . . . I became much more self-conscious about trying to connect people. . . . I was surprised by how often it turned out to be useful to both sides.”

  —Susan Dominus, The New York Times

  “Give and Take . . . wields a large body of social science research . . . to challenge the idea that career success is a zero-sum game in which your gains equal my losses. . . . Grant explodes that myth.”

  —Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic

  “It can seem like clawing your way to the top requires taking anything from anyone until you get there. Thankfully, Grant’s research reveals that that is NOT the road map to success.”

  —Lauren Grillo, MTV

  “Give and Take defines a road to success marked by new ways of relating to colleagues and customers as well as new ways of growing a business.”

  —Tony Hsieh, CEO, Zappos.com, and author of Delivering Happiness

  “One of the great secrets of life is that those who win most are often those who give most. In this elegant and lucid book, filled with compelling evidence and evocative examples, Adam Grant shows us why and how this is so. Highly recommended!”

  —William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes and author of The Power of a Positive No

  “Adam Grant has written a landmark book that examines what makes some extraordinarily successful people so great. By introducing us to highly impressive individuals, he proves that, contrary to popular belief, the best way to climb to the top of the ladder is to take others up there with you. Give and Take presents the road to success for the twenty-first century.”

  —Maria Eitel, founding CEO and president, Nike Foundation

  “Give and Take dispels commonly held beliefs that equate givers with weakness and takers with strength. Grant shows us the importance of nurturing and encouraging prosocial behaviors.”

  —Dan Ariely, author of Predictably Irrational

  “Give and Take presents a groundbreaking new perspective on success. Adam Grant offers a captivating window into innovative principles that drive effectiveness at every level of an organization and can immediately be put into action. Along with being a fascinating read, this book holds the key to a more satisfied and productive workplace, better customer relationships, and higher profits.”

  —Chip Conley, founder of Joie de Vivre Hotels, head of global hospitality for Airbnb, and author of Peak and Emotional Equations

  “Adam Grant, a rising star of positive psychology, seamlessly weaves together science and stories of business success and failure, convincing us that giving is in the long run the recipe for success in the corporate world. En route you will find yourself re-examining your own life. Read it yourself, then give copies to the people you care most about in this world.”

  —Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism and Flourish

  “Give and Take will fundamentally change the way you think about success. Unfortunately in America, we have too often succumbed to the worldview that if everyone behaved in their own narrow self-in
terest, all would be fine. Adam Grant shows us with compelling research and fascinating stories there is a better way.”

  —Lenny Mendonca, director, McKinsey & Co.

  “Give and Take is a game changer. Reading Adam Grant’s compelling book will change the way doctors doctor, managers manage, teachers teach, and bosses boss. It will create a society in which people do better by being better. Read the book and change the way you live and work.”

  —Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice and Practical Wisdom

  “Give and Take is a new behavioral benchmark for doing business for better, providing an inspiring new perspective on how to succeed to the benefit of all. Adam Grant provides great support for the new paradigm of creating a ‘win win’ for people, planet, and profit with many fabulous insights and wonderful stories to get you fully hooked and infected with wanting to give more and take less.”

  —Jochen Zeitz, former CEO and chairman, PUMA

  “Give and Take is a real gift. Adam Grant delivers a triple treat: stories as good as a well-written novel, surprising insights drawn from rigorous science, and advice on using those insights to catapult ourselves and our organizations to success. I can’t think of another book with more powerful implications for both business and life.”

  —Teresa Amabile, author of The Progress Principle

  “What The No *sshole Rule did for corporate culture, Give and Take does for each of us as individuals. Grant presents an evidence-based case for the counterintuitive link between generosity and finishing first.”

  —Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, coauthors of Difficult Conversations

  “Adam Grant is a wunderkind. He has won every distinguished research award and teaching award in his field, and his work has changed the way that people see the world. If you want to be surprised—very pleasantly surprised—by what really drives success, then Give and Take is for you. If you want to make the world a better place, read this book. If you want to make your life better, read this book.”

  —Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier

  “In one of the most engaging and insightful books I’ve read in years, Adam Grant makes a persuasive argument for a counterintuitive approach to success. Give and Take is an ‘instant classic’ that should be read by anyone who wants to be more productive—and happier—in the office or at home.”

  —Noah Goldstein, author of Yes!

  “Give and Take . . . makes a compelling case that people who give without expecting anything in return actually turn out not only to feel better for having done so, but also to be more successful.”

  —Tony Schwartz, coauthor of The Power of Full Engagement and The Art of the Deal

  “Give and Take is sensational, with fascinating insights on page after page. I learned much that I intend to incorporate into my life immediately. The lessons will not only make you a better person; they will make you more capable of doing good for many people, including yourself.”

  —Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, author of Jewish Literacy and A Code of Jewish Ethics

  “Adam Grant is the first to define what has changed about relationships in a digital age—and he backs it up with empirical evidence. In Give and Take, he brilliantly demonstrates that in our deeply interconnected world, the roots of sustainable success lie in creating success for those around you. It’s one of those rare books that is both enlightening and immensely practical. You’ll want to read and revisit it every year.”

  —Paul Saffo, managing director of Foresight and member, World Economic Forum Council on Strategic Foresight

  PENGUIN BOOKS

  GIVE AND TAKE

  Adam Grant is the youngest full professor and single highest-rated teacher at The Wharton School. His consulting and speaking clients include Google, the NFL, Goldman Sachs, Merck, Pixar, Facebook, the World Economic Forum, the United Nations, and the U.S. Army and Navy. He has been honored as one of BusinessWeek’s favorite professors, one of the world’s top forty business professors under forty, and one of Malcolm Gladwell’s favorite social science writers. He holds a PhD in organizational psychology from the University of Michigan and a BA from Harvard University and is a former record-setting advertising director, junior Olympic springboard diver, and professional magician. Visit www.giveandtake.com.

  PENGUIN BOOKS

  An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

  penguinrandomhouse.com

  First published in the United States of America by Viking Penguin, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2013

  Published in Penguin Books 2014

  Copyright © 2013 by Adam Grant

  Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

  Photograph of John Huntsman: Huntsman International LLC. Used by permission.

  Photograph of Kenneth Lay: Enron 1997 annual report.

  Ebook ISBN 9781101622841

  THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HAS CATALOGED THE HARDCOVER EDITION AS FOLLOWS:

  Grant, Adam M.

  Give and take : the hidden social dynamics of success / Adam M. Grant.

  p. cm.

  Includes bibliographical references and index.

  ISBN 9780670026555 (hc.)

  ISBN 9780143124986 (pbk.)

  1. Success—Psychological aspects. 2. Success in business—Psycholological aspects. 3. Interpersonal relations—Psychological aspects. 4. Social networks—Psychological aspects. I. Title.

  BF637.S8G6855 2013

  158.2—dc23

  2012039995

  Cover design and illustration by The Heads of State

  Version_3

  In memory of my friend

  JEFF ZASLOW

  who lived his life as a role model for the principles in this book.

  CONTENTS

  Praise for Give and Take

  About the Author

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  1 Good Returns

  The Dangers and Rewards of Giving More Than You Get

  2 The Peacock and the Panda

  How Givers, Takers, and Matchers Build Networks

  3 The Ripple Effect

  Collaboration and the Dynamics of Giving and Taking Credit

  4 Finding the Diamond in the Rough

  The Fact and Fiction of Recognizing Potential

  5 The Power of Powerless Communication

  How to Be Modest and Influence People

  6 The Art of Motivation Maintenance

  Why Some Givers Burn Out but Others Are On Fire

  7 Chump Change

  Overcoming the Doormat Effect

  8 The Scrooge Shift

  Why a Soccer Team, a Fingerprint, and a Name Can Tilt Us in the Other Direction

  9 Out of the Shadows

  Actions for Impact

  Acknowledgments

  References

  Index

  1

  Good Returns

  The Dangers and Rewards of Giving More Than You Get

  The principle of give and take; that is diplomacy—give one and take ten.

  —Mark Twain, author and humorist

  On a sunny Saturday afternoon in Silicon Valley, two proud fathers stood on the sidelines of a soccer field. They were watching their young daughters play together, and it was only a matter of time before they struck up a conversation about work. The taller of the two men was Danny Shader, a serial entrepreneur who had spent time at Netscape, Motorola, and Amazon. Intense, dark-haired, and capable of talking about b
usiness forever, Shader was in his late thirties by the time he launched his first company, and he liked to call himself the “old man of the Internet.” He loved building companies, and he was just getting his fourth start-up off the ground.

  Shader had instantly taken a liking to the other father, a man named David Hornik who invests in companies for a living. At 5'4", with dark hair, glasses, and a goatee, Hornik is a man of eclectic interests: he collects Alice in Wonderland books, and in college he created his own major in computer music. He went on to earn a master’s in criminology and a law degree, and after burning the midnight oil at a law firm, he accepted a job offer to join a venture capital firm, where he spent the next decade listening to pitches from entrepreneurs and deciding whether or not to fund them.

  During a break between soccer games, Shader turned to Hornik and said, “I’m working on something—do you want to see a pitch?” Hornik specialized in Internet companies, so he seemed like an ideal investor to Shader. The interest was mutual. Most people who pitch ideas are first-time entrepreneurs, with no track record of success. In contrast, Shader was a blue-chip entrepreneur who had hit the jackpot not once, but twice. In 1999, his first start-up, Accept.com, was acquired by Amazon for $175 million. In 2007, his next company, Good Technology, was acquired by Motorola for $500 million. Given Shader’s history, Hornik was eager to hear what he was up to next.

  A few days after the soccer game, Shader drove to Hornik’s office and pitched his newest idea. Nearly a quarter of Americans have trouble making online purchases because they don’t have a bank account or credit card, and Shader was proposing an innovative solution to this problem. Hornik was one of the first venture capitalists to hear the pitch, and right off the bat, he loved it. Within a week, he put Shader in front of his partners and offered him a term sheet: he wanted to fund Shader’s company.

  Although Hornik had moved fast, Shader was in a strong position. Given Shader’s reputation, and the quality of his idea, Hornik knew plenty of investors would be clamoring to work with Shader. “You’re rarely the only investor giving an entrepreneur a term sheet,” Hornik explains. “You’re competing with the best venture capital firms in the country, and trying to convince the entrepreneur to take your money instead of theirs.”